As I've stated before, Boy Scout Camp has seriously had a ridiculous influence on all the random things I've done in my life. During the summer, every full moon we did this thing called the Moonlit Mile. Basically, there was an island half a mile out from the shore of the lake. We were in the Thunderbird district for the scouts, so there was a T-Bird painted on the rock. You'd swim out to the island, moon the moon, kiss the T-Bird, and then skinny dip back. Was this legal? No. Ethical? Maybe. Could it get us fired? Most likely. Did we do it anyway? Of course.
Myself, Danny, Doug, Arthur, Specs, Whoppers, Joe, and Yesenia all decided to go on the night of this full moon. Mind you, Chawanakee is a co-ed staff, so Yesenia is, in fact, a woman. She and Joe were our spotters, rowing next to us to make sure none of us drowned. Danny actually asked Garth, our camp supervisor, if we could go (because he's awesome and has to ask if we can do illegal things), and Garth said as long as we had spotters we could go.
Now, for some reason Arthur and Specs decided they wanted to do the whole thing naked. We swam out to the island, mooned the moon, kissed the T-Bird (which was buried underneath the water, so that was fun) and decided to just kind of chill for a while. Joe had a thing for Yesenia, so while we were out there he decided to take her off to the other end of the island to just have a talk with her or what have you.
While they were gone, Doug pulled everyone into a circle.
"Hey," he said. "I have an idea. Let's steal their boat."
Remember Joe and Yesenia were our spotters, so they didn't have any swimsuits or anything. They were still dressed in all their clothes and had rowed out to the island, so if they had no boat to get back they would have to swim and get their camp outfits wet.
So we decided to do it.
Specs (who was naked) went out with Doug to steal the boat. It just sort of started to drift away and out into the lake.
Not long after they started, Joe and Yesenia came back to where we all were and noticed their boat was floating away. Joe about had a heart attack and started cursing and screaming "GET THE BOAT! THE BOAT! SOMEBODY GET THE BOAT!" at the top of his lungs. The island is in the middle of the camp, and his voice was just echoing around everywhere. We were trying to shut him up, but he really wasn't listening.
After Joe freaked out for a while, Specs (still naked) climbed into the boat.
"Hey! Iiiiii'm naked!" he shouted.
While we were all laughing (Yesenia included), Joe started to get pissed. I take no responsibility for the language he used, I'm merely quoting his story.
"Fuck you! Get the fuck out of my boat!" shouted Joe.
"I'm just going to sit down and rub my driblits all over your seat!"
Yes, Specs really called his testicles "driblits."
"Get the fuck out of the boat!"
"Oh, what's this?" Specs picks up Joe's backpack. "You left your backpack on the boat?"
"Fuck you!"
"I'm just going to sit here and rub everything all over me...Oh look...Your water bottle..."
"YOU MOTHER FUCKER!"
After Specs had molested every item of Joe's that was on the boat, he finally jumped out and started to swim back while Doug brought the boat back to the island. For some reason, Joe was the only one who found no amusement in anything and was just angry for the rest of the night.