The story that started this whole “Androo’s Random Life” business was when I was looking through the journal I kept while I was in France and I was talking to Baney about all the random stuff that had happened to me and how crazy it was. I originally typed up the entire story, but I’m just going to write the highlights for this. I guess you can e-mail me if you really wanted to know every little detail, but I’m warning you it’s 4,602 words and 18 pages long.
The beginning of the trip was crazy. The flight was insane, and I didn’t really want to fly because we had to fly at night, which freaked me out for some reason. We landed in Boston and Alyse didn't know where Boston OR Massachusetts were and it was the funniest thing ever! I honestly remember this conversation.
"Where are we?"
"Boston."
"Boston? Where the hell is Boston?"
"...Massachusetts..."
"Ok? Where's Massachusetts?"
...crickets...
"Are you seriously a 4.2 student in all honors classes and you don't know where Boston is?"
"Yeah..."
"We're on the East Coast."
"Oooohhhh ok!"
She grew up in England so I guess it's ok. One of the flight attendants was seriously trying to seduce us. I swear she was having sex. No, this isn't a joke. She was breathing and panting and moaning when she came on the loudspeaker. Both times. Once at the beginning of the flight, once at the end. Scandalous. The pilot sounded like Michael Jackson. Just imagine a Michael Jackson voice saying "Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. Please buckle your seatbelts," and you can imagine what I thought,
When we FINALLY got to Paris our train broke down or something and we went on the metro/subway and it seemed never ending. See, we had gotten up at 4 am to leave for Paris. When we'd finally arrived, it was 7:30 am...the next day. So we were already exhausted and we were just beginning the day. And 
at 7:30 am it was still about, oh, 1000 degrees and our train broke down...in the sun. We went to Monmartre/Sacré Coeur. Sacré Coeur means Sacred Heart. By the way, I didn't know what it was so Mike, our group leader, merely said "It's a church" and left. Mike (or Mark...I don't really know to be honest because her I call him Mike but later I call him Mark...I think it was Mike...) is one of the most blunt, straight upforward people ever. Just imagine an annoyed British man saying "It's a church" and secretly thinking "Bloody retarded Americans. Probably don't even know France is in Europe." (Especially because the one girl didn't know Boston was in Massachusetts or that Massachusetts was on the East Coast.)
Outside the Sacré Coeur there were these crazy Jamaican men who attacked me and my friend Valerie. They spoke in French, then in English, thenJamaican or something and Spanish and it was weird. They tied bracelets (which I still have) to our wrists and we were supposed to pay for them I guess but Madame came over and yelled and I ran.
That night we went au supermarché (the supermarket) and we bought fruit. We didn't know, however, that we were supposed to weigh the fruit before we brought it up, because you weigh it and it gives you the price there and then you buy it. It was a great miming catastrophe between Valerie and the poor grocery seller. Finally, someone who spoke enough English said, "Weight it first." Yeah. We're awesome.
My room was extremely tiny. That's all I have to say.
I actually woke up on time on Tuesday and I thought it was awesome. I was afraid I'd like sleep in or something. You know, because I had been up for 44 hours and had to be up by 7 in the morning...No worries. Madame came and checked on me, though, so I wouldn't be able to sleep in.
I met my new roommates at breakfast the next day. In all honesty I thought one of them was a girl. He had really long hair, it wasn't my fault! It was our free day in Paris, so I didn't get to hang out with them. They went to the Arc de Triumph (which is Napolean's arc and I never really got to see it) and we went to the Musée D'Orsay.
Of course, the Musée D'Orsay was beautiful! It was great because Madame (I don't know why sometimes I spell it with an "e" and sometimes I don't. I think she's not supposed to have one because she's married? Or something?) touched a statue and all of the ladies were like "Ne touchez pas! Ne touchez pas!" which means "Don't touch." I remember it was a really big joke, since she’d been there so much you would think she’d know the rules? That situation would be funnier if you actually knew Madame.
Jannel (same with "Madame", I don't remember how to spell it. I think I'll stick with the two "n"'s because I feel like I had this fight with her before) and I decided we didn't want to go with everyone else to the gift shop, so we waited outside. We left for Notre Dame Park and it turns out there's about five of those so we were confused as to which one we were supposed to go to and we thought we were late and going to get yelled at and it was no fun. We ended up running into Madame and everyone else so all ended well.
Later I started not feeling very good and that pill that the doctor gave me did NOT help at all. In fact, it made it worse.* That night was the Fête de la Musique (Festival of Music) to celebrate the summer solstice and I had to miss it because I didn't feel good and I was really upset because it sounded really fun. The other two groups there was one from Michigan and one of Maryland went to the Moulin Rouge and I wanted to go to that, too, but I obviously didn't get to.
*So about this. Back in sophomore-ish year of high school, I had a problem with my stomach. I always got stomach aches and I couldn't hold food. I would throw up 3-5 times a week and I had to keep getting tests done, and the final one that they postponed until there was no other option was an endoscope or something whatever they call it. Basically, there's a camera on a tube and they knock you out and put it down your throat and take pictures of your insides to find out what's wrong. It sucked.
In the journal, I wrote that in our first day it was a tour of France and I was a flying buttress. I have no idea what that means. At all. ?
We went to the palace of Versailles and the workers were on strike so they wouldn't open the doors so all we saw were the gardens which were still
beautiful. And Mike/Mark (Mike?) mentioned that it was something about how there was always some sort of strike or revolt in France, so we were merely just experiencing a cultural aspect of the French. I got car/bus sick and that wasn't fun.
The Louvre is freaking huge, by the way. They said something like if you walked around through all of it it would be like 12 miles long or something. Everything on the second floor was closed for some reason. I saw that Mona Lisa, and that was pretty cool.
Once we finished with the Louvre there was a major lightning storm. At first I thought it was cool but then I realized it would put a damper on our visit to the Eiffel Tower. The metro was insanity and so was waiting for tickets. We went to dinner and discovered the power had gone out. That was fun. We ended up having a cande lit dinner. The storm cleared up and we went to the Eiffel Tower. That was awesome. We decided it would be fun to take the stairs down from the second floor because you can't go all the way up to the top unless it's in case of an emergency. .... Boy, that was a stupid idea. We ended up climbing something like 676 stairs or something like that. We counted. Because we're awesome.
The bus we had was conveniently named “The Tiger Lounge” because it had a lounge in the back and it was black and orange. Cleverly dubbed by Lissa, Madame’s daughter.
When we went down into Dinard, I had gotten so tired by then that I actually fell asleep in an outdoor café. I bet I looked really awesome when that happened. And later on that night, I slipped when I got out of the shower and seriously fell flat on my ass. I didn’t feel as stupid, though, because my roommate (Chris) did the same thing. See, here's the thing. No one decided to tell us that the French use the entire bathroom to shower. The shower's don't have doors. So in this particular instance, the entire bathroom got wet, I didn't know, and when I stepped out of the shower and slipped and fell directly on my ass. No joke. Good stuff.
I remember going on the roof of our hotel and then local neighbors across the street yelled at us...Something about...Well, something in French so I don't really know. We just kinda yelled back and went back inside.
Then somehow I got extremely hyper. I ate lots of pretzels and cookies next door and met Alicia, the final person of the group that I did not know. We were throwing cookies and pretzels everywhere. It was awesome. They had tic tac shots. That was fun. Tic tac shots: each player gets a full pack of tic tacs and 
"shoots" it. Whoever eats all of the tic tacs first wins. It's more fun than it sounds.
We rode the TGV, to Switzerland, which was all right. It was basically just a really fast train. Kind of boring but it got us to Switzerland. At the hotel, it was only like a one-man elevator so me, Nicole, and Courtney decided that we'd climb up six flights of stairs. And with each flight it got hotter...and hotter...and hotter... Not fun. Then we went into the room...AND I DID NOT FIT IN THE SHOWER! Yeah, ok, I'm 6'5". My head literally was turned onto my shoulder and I couldn't fit. Wtffff was that kinda bs right there. Seriously? Seriously. Worst shower of my life. Ugh I was so mad! Caught that on video tape, too. So I used Madame's shower. Awkward?
Chris and I had the only room on the entire trip with air conditioning. However, my comforter on my bed was stained...with shit. Literal shit. Yeah.
When we went down into Avignon, some Australian ladies told us to check up on our stuff because they thought they had seen some guys steal something. So we did, and it turns out Steve was missing his wallet. So then one of them (the Australians -- the one who spoke French) questioned the guy about it, but of course he denied it.
I went to go get Madame and they told her to go through their stuff to check for it. So she did. Every...last...thing...nothing. Then Mark/Mike came out and confronted them. By now they were already extremely pissed off so they got in Mark/Mike's face and we were all freaked out or whatever because we all like Mark/Mike and it was kind of creepy.
Then I told them to go look where we found the guy and they did and found the wallet. The guy took 5 American dollars and 60 Euros and once we found the wallet he sat there and counted it in front of us! Stupid jerk. So Mark/Mike called the police and took the guys and Steve like pressed charges or whatever and they did nothing! They let them go! Since we're American they wouldn't even like fingerprint anything.
Later on, the girls called us up and did this whole "free cookies" thing as a joke. So this pissed off Steve and Essy and they went into their room and toilet papered it and put the towels in the bidet (and if you don't know what a bidet is...I...I have no explanation I wish to share.) and soaked them and put chocolate in the toilet and said it was poo and then wrote "Poo" on the mirror. It was...interesting. Girls called a war. These were the Michigan people.
Nothing else was severely exciting and worth mentioning, but those were just some of the random ass things that happened in France.